Why does parenting often result in that crushing, insides crumbling kind of feeling? Jacob starts 1st grade on Monday. Since they have half day Kindergarten, he will soon be heading to school from 9am-4pm… seems like an eternity to me! Conversation today as we were heading to the mall:

Jacob: “Mom, is today a special day?”

Me: “Of course it is a special day today. We all get to hang out together and be together all day long. That always makes for a special day.”

Jacob, in a sassy 1st grade ready voice: “Moooommmmm… that is just like every day of my whole life. What’s so special about that?”

Me, hit by a freight train of emotions and suddenly bursting into tears: “Because, Jacob, when you start school, we won’t get to have every, single day to hang out like this. You’ll be in school.”

Him: “Cool. I guess it is a special day then.”

Oh… little does he know how special of a day it really is to me.

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I’m going to start this post off with a self-slap to my face, a shake, and a loud, “Kristen…get a hold of yourself!!!”. I need to pull it together, and I need to do so quickly. I have been an emotional wreck this week thinking about my middle daughter, Kelly, starting Kindergarten. I know this is normal for moms… heck, I went through it on a slightly less erratic level last year when Jacob started kindergarten. However, the kicker is… I have an entire year before Kelly starts kindergarten, and I am a wreck NOW.

This crazy irrational emotional business started last week when I was filling in the 2008-2009 school calendar for Jacob’s 1st grade year. I started in August, and before I knew it I was already writing “LAST DAY OF SCHOOL” in the month of May. It took me no time at all to zip through the year and get all of the school related functions written in. I feel like with the way time is flying, it is going to be exactly that speedy of a year, and then my darling girl will be setting free to start Kindergarten.

I was emotional when Jacob started Kindergarten. I had apprehension and sadness about my baby leaving the nest. The emotions I am feeling with Kelly are ten times more intense. I honestly believe it is because she is my middle one and because of that has been sandwiched in the middle of these two other kids for most of her life. In relation to that, she has been more independent than my other two and has needed me less. I feel like my time with her has especially zoomed by because honestly, she gets the least of it. She demands the least of it and therefore is the one who is always just content to take what she gets and appreciate it.

I swear, Kelly wakes up some mornings and I look at her and think, “Oh my goodness… when did she get so big? When did she become a little girl instead of my baby? Where did the time go to?”

For the next year, I’ve decided that what I must do is to avoid the issue. Anytime the word Kindergarten comes up, I am just going to have to pretend I didn’t hear it and not even think about it. Otherwise, if I let it build up for the entire year, I will be that mom on the front lawn of the grade school, who is in complete hysterics, being carted off to the mental hospital.

Sometimes, issue avoidance is the best way to go, don’t you think? Just like this lovely coffee cake I made this week. Take a look at the recipe and notice the amount of sugar and butter. Yep – a little overboard isn’t it? Add to that the cream cheese factor, and your arteries will probably begin to clog up just thinking about it.

That is why my motto is going to be… Just Don’t Think About It. If you think too long and hard about the amount of fat and calories in this coffee cake, you will talk yourself out of eating it. Missing a piece of this tasty coffee cake just would not be worth all the fuss over calories and fat.

Just Don’t Think About It… that is what I will be doing this year so I don’t miss out on life now with Kelly. I will not dwell on the future, but will appreciate and cherish the now. I hope you sit down with a piece of coffee cake and do the same.

Buttery Cream Cheese Coffee Cake, from Recipezaar

1¼ hours | 25 min prep

SERVES 12

CAKE

• 1 cup butter (no substitutes)
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1/4 cup sour cream
• 2 cups flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

FILLING

• 2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

TOPPING

• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1/4 cup butter (semi-soft)

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