I hinted to this some earlier in the week, but…
My brother has cancer. We found out this week that he has Stage 4 cancer in the form of an inoperable mass pressing against his esophagus. In addition, we were told this evening that his spine is deteriorating, which most likely means cancer has metastasized into his bones. The PET scan will be happening soon and we’ll know much more then, but in the meantime, we are trying to grasp the reality that cancer has forcefully invaded our family.
How does this fit in with happiness? Well, not a lot, except I know how important it is to focus on the positive. I’ve seen the power of “mind over matter” at work and I know that even amid all the worry, sorrow and stress, it will be essential for us to keep our mind focused on the little things that makes us happy.
Some of the things on my list today may seem small and petty, but you know what? If you can get a boost of happiness from something as simple as eyeshadow, then there is nothing petty about it. So, for now, here is what has made me happy lately.
Friday morning I’ll be joining Libby’s and group of Kansas City bloggers swinging hammers for Habitat for Humanity. As part of their Get Back to the Table initiative, Libby’s will be providing 12 new homeowners with everything they need to make family mealtime a reality including a complete dining set and a stocked pantry. Libby’s is also partnering with local Hen House grocery stores to collect food to stock the Habitat for Humanity food pantry so that all of their new homeowners can benefit from these efforts. It makes me so happy to be part of such a wonderful event. Follow #LibbysGiving on Twitter to see how things are progressing throughout the day.
I recently started reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. If have any interest in becoming a better writer, this book will inspire you like no other. I’m only on chapter four, but I feel like I’ve pushed myself in my personal writing time more this week than I ever have. This book will make you strive to be a better writer.
My friend, Amy, from Mom Advice created the coolest 100 days of summer activity “guide”. It is so cool you will just have to go check it out for yourself.
Ready for petty? The other day I was at Sephora and the girl put a sample of Bare Minerals Bare Skin eyeshadow in my bag for me to take home. I have never loved an eye shadow more than this! Ladies… you know how you sometimes want to wear makeup but for the most part don’t want it to look like you are wearing makeup? You go into Sephora and say “I want to put on makeup each morning but I don’t want it to be really noticeable that I’m wearing makeup” at which your husband who overhears you says “If you don’t want to look like you are wearing makeup, then why don’t you just not wear makeup?” And then you decide that men are dumb if they don’t understand the understated makeup need? OK – well THIS is that eyeshadow. The “you are wearing makeup but it doesn’t totally look like you are wearing makeup” eyeshadow. I love it and I think you will too!
I’ll end on this note. Happiness is… a suite at The Great Wolf Lodge with one King sized bed, 2 Queen sized beds, 1 pullout couch…. and everyone piled in one bed by morning.
Give your babies extra squeezes tonight. Tell your family you love them. Pick up the phone and call your loved ones. And, remember to look for happiness in the little things. It is often in those little things and little moments where the largest pockets of happiness can be found. (Thanks everyone for your prayers…. they are appreciated more than you could ever know.)
Please note – I am being sponsored by Libby’s to participate in the build for Habitat for Humanity, however all opinions expressed are my own.
Another side note – I don’t really think men are dumb…they may not understand the significance of makeup, but they certainly aren’t all dumb.
Oh – and please share what’s been making you happy lately! Let’s spread some happiness around!
Disclosure: This blog post contains affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Huge hugs to you tonight and every night, Kristen. xoxo
Oh my, Kristen. I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. I’ll pray for your family. Bless your heart for doing a post on happiness at a time like this-you are inspiring.
Much love,
Christina
So sorry to hear about your brother’s illness.
Make the most of the time you have as a family and treasure the memories.
Yes. All in one bed by morning is the best one and brings great joy.
Móna
Stay with the positive thoughts.
Huge hugs to you Kristen and all your family. You are an inspiration in that even in this difficult time you are looking at the positives around you. You’re in my thoughts. XOX
So sorry about the bad news…
Already praying. Thanks for the reminder to find happiness in the small things, it is so important.
So sorry to hear about your brother! You are so right, being positive is what it’s all about! Thinking good thoughts for you and your family.
I’m not a praying man, but I do want you to know that you and your brother are in my thoughts. And, you are right… it doesn’t matter if something small and “petty” brings you happiness. It’s important to find joy in all the things that life has to offer.
Try to relax this weekend and find some time to just decompress. A hot shower, a cup of tea.
Stay well, my friend.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother’s illness. A positive attitude really does make a difference and I’m glad you are finding ways to focus on the good things, too. I’ll be heading to Sephora to look for that eye shadow!
You and your family are in my thoughts. And like someone said, you’re a tower of strength to do the happiness report when most people would find it very difficult.
Incidentally, Habitat for Humanity Kansas City is listed on my work’s website, where you can make an online fundraising page (they don’t have a nonprofit account with us so their nonprofit page is pretty basic, but your fundraising page has all the same capabilities as one you’d make for a nonprofit that DOES have an account) – if you go to http://www.firstgiving.com/5067 you can make a page by clicking “Start Fundraising” and then we can all donate to the cause. I used to be on the support desk, so if you decide to make a page and have questions, just hit me up!
I’ve also read Bird for Bird and I definitely found it helpful – it gave me some new ideas.
My heart goes out to you and your brother. I will keep him in my prayers and send lots of postive thoughts and love. Your message was so inspiring for anyone dealing with an illness – you are amazing.
Praying for you and your family, Kristen. You inspire us all with your positive attitude. If you need anything other than prayers, let us know. Don’t forget to take care of yourself–the eyeshadow is a good start
I’m so sorry. Hugs to you and your family. Quite literally, cancer just sucks. I don’t really have any other words except those and that your brother, you and your family will be in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. I’ll add him and your family to my prayers.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. Staying positive is so important. Difficult to do, but if anyone can manage it, you can. I’ll be sending positive waves in your direction…
Sending good energy to your family during this time. You’re absolutely right, that a positive attitude helps more than any medicine.
So sorry to here, your family will definitely be in my prayers. Love how you’ve posted about happiness. Stay strong. (the cuddling in bed picture is awesome!)
Oh, I am so, so sorry to hear this! I am praying for your family right now and please let me know if there is anything I can do! Sending lot and lots of hugs to you!
You are such an amazing woman and I admire how you’re facing your brother’s cancer. It’s hard to stay positive and find happiness but your list is a great reminder for finding bright spots wherever you can. One of my bright spots this week was spending time with the BlogKC group, which came together because of you. Thank you! Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you or your family.
I saw Anne Lamott a few years ago when she came to KC and love her books. Her writing advice is so accessible.
I am glad that you are staying on the positive side. Big hugs to your family from ours.
Sweet Kristen, I’m so sorry your family is going through this, I will send the most positive thoughts I can your way, and hugs too, lots of hugs. xoxoxo
You are approaching the devastating news about your brother in absolutely the right way. You have to focus on the little things, the positives, to give you the strength to battle the negatives.
I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts, Kristen. *HUG*
Hug Kristen! I am so sorry to hear about your news. We are sending you prayers and warm thoughts. Let me know if there is ever anything you need.
I’m sorry to hear the news was not better for your brother. I’ll be keeping him and your family in my thoughts.
As for happy… I ordered my husband a new smoker for Father’s Day… and it arrived early (no big deal)… but, the best part is the box has become the best toy ever for my boys! They have completely decorated it and are playing in it every chance they get! Makes me smile to see something so simple make them happy.
I am heartbroken to hear this news, Kristen! Having gone through this with my father, I know all too well how devastating it is. I’m sending lots of prayers and virtual hugs to you and your family. God bless.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry.
So sorry to hear about your brother. My dad also had esophageal cancer.
Hello Sweet Friend! I am so sorry about your brothers and I am continuing to pray for him and all of your family! Cancer is such an ugly beast and I pray that one day they will discover a miracle to help crush the beast! It has hit our family on my mom’s side and so I know your heartache! And a sweet friend of mine has terminal brain cancer. She loves our lord and savior and so she is living her life as happily as she can. She has become one of my my heros! I think we all have experienced it somehow and it never gets easier! Such a precious life we live and I agree we need to tell those around us how much they mean to us! For now what makes me happy? My family, my friends via the internet and my friends that live nearby! Life even with its obstacles makes me happy. Sending lots of prayers, love and hugs your way sweet friend!!
I am so sorry to hear this news Kristen. What a scary and awful thing your family must be going through. I will keep you and your family in my prayers, and will send as much positive energy your way as I can. It is true – each day is precious, and you never know what might be around the corner.
Much love to you and yours,
Amanda
Crying with you over here. You know, when my mom had cancer she said it was the best and worst thing that ever happened to her. The worst is obvious, but the best….those little bits of happiness that sometimes go unnoticed in our every day lives.
Holding your brother and your family, and you, my friend, in my heart.
Oh Kristen, I am so sorry to hear about your brother. You and your family are in my thoughts. As per your request for happy thoughts, the things that have made me happy lately are the little things – my 7-year old jumping off the high diving board for the first time, my 9-year old’s huge smile while he is playing soccer with his friends, dinners on the patio…it’s all good.
I also believe in the power of positive thinking. It has gotten me through the toughest of times. Just know how many people are praying and lifting you up daily. That’s what life’s all about. Loving and leaning and sometimes even being carried. You aren’t alone. Keep your chin up and when you need a *lean* or *lift* I’m here, love.
Kristen,
I so enjoyed the gathering at your home to get me going with HP. It was lovely to meet you. I have since enjoyed your blog. I think the capacity to identify glimmers of happy with such heaviness on your heart is a blessing. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Kristen, my thoughts and best wishes go out to you and your family, especially to your brother – I am only one of many to hold you and yours in their thoughts.
I am loving all of the positives you are focusing on in your life! And now I am crying. The girls are just in bed but I want to go get them up and hug them. Thank you so much for sharing and I loved all of the great pictures from the build today! Girl power! And power tools.
Kristen you are such an inspiration! I’m praying for your family.
SORRY TO HERE ABOUT YOUR BROTHER. REMEMBER THAT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THRU GOD!!! WE WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR BROTHER.
I HAVE LEARNED THRU THE YEARS THAT TO BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE. MY MOM ALWAYS TOLD US THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS ALWAY WORSE OFF THAN YOU.
HUGS FOR YOU AND YOURS
A sympathetic ear and a little human kindness have been filling my heart with joy. Will certainly keep you and your family in my prayers.
Love you, Kristen. Praying for you all. Wishing I could come over with a hug, a bottle of wine, and my huge train case of make-up.
My husband has stage 4 Melanoma. After surgeries here, we went to M D Anderson in Houston. They have given us hope when we had little. We go back every 3 to 4 weeks for follow-up tests and to see how the chemo is progressing. So far we have had nothing but good news. We are leaving Monday for our next trip to Houston. Cancer is a horrible disease that touches so many families, but until it involves your family you can’t imagine what it is like. Our hearts go out to your brother and family.
Cancer sucks! Way to much of it lately… I am praying for your brother! Hope is a good thing!
K, my heart is breaking for you right now. I lift your brother up to Christ right now and pray for his healing. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or his family. (Cancer sucks!)
Prayers, thoughts, happy thoughts and all of that for you, your family and your brother!!
Loved this list of happiness ….
Hugs and prayers to you and everyone you hold dear in your heart.
I’m very sorry to hear of your sad news and hope for strength for you all. I lost my aunt recently in a similar way, quite unexpectedly. In spite of your news, your post has me feeling brighter — you have such a positive attitude. Enjoy Bird by Bird. I’ve read it many times over the years, and used Lamott’s advice often in my own instruction. She’s quite a character (I’ve met her) and I believe her book serves as a larger metaphor for life. Take care.
Dear Kristen,
Saddened to read your news today. Sending you chi for strength and prayers for your brother and family. I reccomend the book Poetry As Survival by Gregory Orr. Even if you are not a poet, as a writer, you will relate! It served me well when my Mom was having a quad bypass sitting in hospital waiting rooms. I wish you happiness in whatever form it comes. Virtual hugs.
I am saying prayers for your brother and your family. Hugs to you.
Really sorry to hear about your brother.Will definitely keep you and your family in my prayers and its so true about what you said about looking for happiness even in little things.Very touching post
Padma.
Such sad news. I am so, so sorry.
There is nothing really that can make that diagnoses okay, but the picture of your family all piled into one bed certainly shows what’s important about life. Thank you for the reminder to just take it all in and enjoy, while we can.
Am sending prayers to your brother and all of you.
xo Kim
I am sending my most heartfelt positive thoughts and wishes your way! I, too, am a big believer in “mind over matter” and I am confident that with some strong prayers your brother is going to shine through this. Thinking of your family and so incredibly thankful to have found your blog. The photo of your whole family in one bed is so touching!
Kristen – I’m so sorry to hear about your brother’s illness. One of my best friends has just begun her 3rd treatment approach for lymphoma (diagnosed Oct. ’09 – still waiting for remission). I remember a long time ago when she smiled at me over a dinner table…hair very thin and complexion never looking worse…and said, “I look like crap, but every day with hair is a good hair day.” And, after a biopsy went very wrong, nicked her artery and resulted in cracking her chest open to repair…six weeks later she was wanting to do cartwheels. (In our youth we were gymnasts.) More than a year and a half in and she continues to battle cancer every single day, but her attitude makes every day bearable. It’s all about finding happiness in the small stuff and contentment in the relationships around you. I will be praying for your family and for your brother’s medical team. Hugs to you, friend.
I always enjoy reading your finds and favorites, especially the kid filled bed!
Dearest Kristen, sorry to read about your brother’s diagnosis. Lots of prayers and love being sent y’all’s way.
What has made me happy lately? Well, on Friday, you know that my boy (a very special kitty for others who might read this) hasn’t been feeling well, and I’m still sad, anxious, and scared about it…. Well, it was later that evening I happened to look outside and saw him watching something on the ground, and he’d pounce a little, watch the ground, move again…. It was difficult to see what was happening as it was getting dark. He looked my way, saw me, and picked up what it was he was watching. He trotted up the sidewalk and up the front steps, and, right in front of the door I had opened just a hair, let drop from his mouth a mouse! It was still very much alive! I had to quickly shut the door! The mouse scrambled off the porch through the space between the porch and door.
My boy looked up at me, “Look what I brought you, mommy!” He glanced down, then around, peering around the sides of the porch, “Um, where did he go?” (I swear that’s what it looked like he was thinking!)
I love that boy. xx
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt post with your readers. I am so sorry that your brother and the rest of the family have to endure such a dreadful illness. But having lost my husband, my brother, my brother-in-law and a good friend in the last six months, I know firsthand how precious each day is and I’m glad to read that you are trying to remain positive. Here’s what made me happy today: being in Italy with my son and making home made pasta at my cousin’s house today. Love the bed piled with everyone in it. Positive thoughts and prayers are coming your way.